New Car!

I have been waiting forever to get a new car; something to call my own. I was expecting to have to wait until the end of the summer, but sometimes you just can't pass up a good deal! This is my new 2002 Mercury Sable. She is a good little car- runs just like new. I don't know exactly what color she is, but because of her 2-tone inside and her starkly outside, I call her Tanner. She is bronceada I suppose. I'm very excited! :)

Docks and Ropes

I just thought I would share a bit of my devotional with ya'll. I read it last week and it has really spoken to me, so I have come back to it several times this week.
It is from "My Utmost for His Highest" by Oswald Chambers.

"Be determined to know more than others. If you yourself do not cut the lines that tie you to the dock, God will have to use a storm to sever them and to send you out to sea. Put everything in your life afloat upon God, going out to sea on the great swelling tide of His purpose, and your eyes will be opened. If you believe in Jesus, you are not to spend all your time in the calm waters just inside the harbor, full of joy, but always tied to the dock. You have to get out past the harbor into the great depths of God, and begin to know things for yourself--begin to have spiritual discernment..."

Lord, am I tied to a dock? What are the "docks" in my life? Is there something that I am holding onto (or that is holding onto me) that is hindering my relationship with you? I want so badly to break fee and depend only on you. Help me to trust you with every area of my life. Grant me the discernment that comes only from your throne. Help me, God, in this new chapter of my life, to grow in you and not to allow myself to run back to the familiar docks when the storms come.

A Time To Move On

The RAD Graduation is over. It seems like this year has flown by, but at the same time stretched out. All but one of the students have headed home and my roommates Katie and Kara have also gone their separate ways. By the time I leave, the Finneys (the Director and Family), my roommates, students, and some of my friends will all be gone either for good or on summer vacation. I think it is safe to say it is time to move on. I am not leaving because I don't love GA, RAD, or the friends and family I have here. It is simply time. Time to move on. Time to start new. I will surely be back to visit, but my life is turning in a new and exciting direction. Bon Voyage!

Ecclesiastes 3

A Time for Everything

1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:

2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,

3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,

4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,

5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,

7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,

8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

On the way to the airport....

So I thought I would tell about what happened when Ronnie and I were on the way to the airport the other day (Sunday). Ronnie had spent five or six days with me during the RAD Graduation. After a very fun last week with the students and tearful goodbyes after church, Ronnie and I hopped in the car and left for the airport. Along the way, we got stuck with our little old Honda in a major traffic jam. As time slowly inched by the temperature gage on the poor little car quickly climbed. Soon the smell of burning rubber began to fill the air and I was forced to take the next exit into unfamiliar Atlanta territory. There was no gas station in site and we finally settled for a small, run down mini-mart off a beaten down road. Ronnie ran inside as I [courageously] waited outside with the car and valuables. Soon after he went in, A tall black man in clothes 10 sizes too big approached the car. I slowly reached one hand over to the key and the other to my cell phone. The man mumbled too himself and walked away. I breathed a sigh of relief as Ronnie ran outside to my rescue. The man mumbled away to Ronnie and tried to help him. Ronnie kindly explained that we needed no assistance and that we could handle the problem ourselves. The man left on his cell phone and slipped around the store corner. I began to beg Ronnie to close the hood so we could leave. He said he just needed another minute. Within minutes a car pulled up and the man ran to greet them. Some chattering could be heard across the lot as another man, this one much more scroungy than the first stepped out of the car and approached our little Honda. I gave Ronnie a demanding look and told him to close the hood, but before anything could be done, the two men were next to us. The second man, reached in his pocket and pulled out a small baggy filled with white pills. "How many boys you want?" he asked my dumbfounded boyfriend. "Excuse me???" Ronnie asked [in a shocked tone]. I gave Ronnie one look that said it all, and said it angrily, "GET IN THE CAR NOW." The two men stood there arguing about "You said he wanted some" and "I thought he did." I quickly sped away. What you cant tell from this writing is how much emotion was all in this 10 minute ordeal. There are no words.

End of story. well.... not really. but it gets better from there. Long story short Ronnie didn't make his stand by flights. He called me on his nearly dead cell phone to tell me (who was sitting in the airport lobby) that he made the flight, had to go, and he would call me from Chicago. "okay," I managed to stammer before he hung up. I slowly gathered my things and headed to the parking garage. So now I'm starting to feel sorry for myself, I mean, my boyfriend just left, I just said bye to all the students, and my roommates are soon leaving too. A tear makes it to my eye, but hasn't yet slid down my cheek when an arm wraps around my shoulder. I spin around to see *ta-da* my boyfriend (who I nearly hit. hard.)! So yea. We had another day. He made his flight on Monday morning. I do however blame Ronnie for any emotional unstable-ness I am now experiencing. What with all the "hello-goodbye-goodbye-oh hello again-goodbye"s. But it is worth it. I had a great time and we certainly made some memories.

Stand in the Rain- Superchick

Do you ever just hear a song and think "That's it! THAT is what I'm feeling and cant put into words!" Well that is how this song has made me feel on several occasions so i thought i would share it with you.

STAND IN THE RAIN
Superchick


She never slows down.
She doesn't know why but she knows that when she's all alone, feels like its all coming down
She won't turn around
The shadows are long and she fears if she cries that first tear, the tears will not stop raining down

[CHORUS]
So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day, whats lost can be found
You stand in the rain

She won't make a sound
Alone in this fight with herself and the fears whispering if she stands she'll fall down
She wants to be found
The only way out is through everything she's running from wants to give up and lie down.

[CHORUS]
So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day, whats lost can be found
You stand in the rain

So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
Stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day, whats lost can be found

[CHORUS]
So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day, whats lost can be found
You stand in the rain

See it on YouTube

Family in Oklahoma

So, I will try to keep this thing fairly updated with the major (and sometimes minor) events in my life.

I was privileged to be able to fly to Oklahoma to stay with my wonderful boyfriend Ronnie and his family for a few days from May 7th to 12th. The trip was a blast! I was introduced to Ronnie's parents, siblings, extended family, and many of his friends. Although I was slightly overwhelmed with so many new names, I was able to connect and get to know so many people. Ronnie and I enjoyed a pretty low key week with his family as we shopped, went to a drive-in movie, and hung out with friends.

Although saying goodbye was very difficult it was eased by Ronnie and his little brother Jake flying back to Atlanta with me for the afternoon. Also, Ronnie and his sister Jessica plan to attend the RAD Graduation here in just 2 weeks! YAY!!!!

Pray that God would continue to lead this relationship that that HIS will would be done.

It just fits....

RELIENT K LYRICS

"Be My Escape"

I’ve given up on giving up slowly, I’m blending in so
You won’t even know me apart from this whole world that shares my fate
This one last bullet you mention is my one last shot at redemption
because I know to live you must give your life away
And I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I’ve been locked inside that house all the while You hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because
I gotta get outta here
I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I gotta get outta here
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging You to be my escape.

I’m giving up on doing this alone now
Cause I’ve failed and I’m ready to be shown how
He’s told me the way and I’m trying to get there
And this life sentence that I’m serving
I admit that I’m every bit deserving
But the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair

Cause I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I’ve been locked inside that house all the while You hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because
I gotta get outta here
Cause I’m afraid that this complacency is something I can’t shake
I gotta get outta here
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging You to be my escape.

I am a hostage to my own humanity
Self detained and forced to live in this mess I’ve made
And all I’m asking is for You to do what You can with me
But I can’t ask You to give what You already gave

Cause I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I’ve been locked inside that house all the while you hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because
I’ve gotta get outta here
I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I’ve gotta get outta here
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging
You to be my escape.

I fought You for so long
I should have let You in
Oh how we regret those things we do
And all I was trying to do was save my own skin
But so were You

So were You

Magic Carpet Ride

“Our only goal is to please God whether we live here or there” ~ 2 Corinthians 5:9

When I left for RAD last year, one of the missionary families in Honduras wrote me a song as a going-away present. It was to the tune of Aladdin’s “A Whole New World.” Each time I return to Honduras, the family asks me about my “magic carpet ride” and about all the adventures the Lord is taking me on. There is no better way to describe my life than a “magic carpet ride.” Filled to the brim with new faces, places and life lessons; my life is anything but ordinary.

After spending Christmas and New Years with my family in Honduras, I returned to Georgia refreshed and ready for whatever the Lord had in store for me. Though a rough start at RAD, the Lord has graciously taught me the value of true joy and also of true, genuine love for HIS people. As always, it feels as though I am an eternity away from completing these lessons, but I continue to strive towards the Father’s heart even if I must stumble my way to the cross broken, bruised and torn.

Life seemed to putter its way into a “normal” rhythm of office work, cleaning houses, babysitting and student time. Soon the weeks were chugging away with only lists of things not completed were left at the end of the night. I found myself in survival mode just trying to make it through the work, through the chores, through the week to get to what I thought was more exciting or entertaining. One day while I was chugging my way from one job to the next, I heard a song on the radio. The chorus goes like this:

You’re gonna miss this.

You’re gonna want this back.

You’re gonna wish these days

Hadn’t gone by so fast.

These are some good times,

So take a look around.

You may not know it now

But you’re gonna miss this.

“You’re Gonna Miss this” by Trace Adkins

That song really made me think “Am I seizing the day or am I living for tomorrow?” My mind tends to wander in the direction of “I could be doing this” or “If I could just skip all of this nonsense and make it to that point…” God has placed me where I am in this moment for a reason. Will I spend my time wishing he hadn’t placed me here or glorifying HIS name and fulfilling HIS purpose in it? That realization was hard for me, but it changed the way I looked at my life. Weeks had gone by in a blink of an eye and I had nothing to show for it. I choose not to live my life like that.

Since then, I feel as though I have been able to see each day as a gift. I can slow down and enjoy the little things in life even if it doesn’t seem to be a glorious new adventure. I can enjoy my jobs as a house cleaner and babysitter. I can do my work in the RAD office and know that God has placed me here with a purpose. *sigh* I love my life.

In mid February, my magic carpet took me to Atlanta with the RAD Students. It was the tail end of the RAD road trip and the students were very excited about all that had already happened. They had traveled to Ashville, NC, Hendersonville, NC, and also to Townsend, TN following the Lord’s voice and serving through youth ministry, church services, prayer walks, helping people move, and working at a children’s home. In inner city Atlanta, The team and I witnessed the Lord’s mercy and love as we stepped into a world unknown to us; the world of poverty. We spent a week serving meals, throwing children’s parties, speaking in church services, and so much more. I thank God for the love he extends unconditionally to EACH INDIVUDUAL no matter who they are, where they are from or what they have done.

Thank you all for your prayers and support. With out you, this “magic carpet ride” could never have happened. I am learning and growing so much this year as I am saturated with new adventures, life lessons, and relationships. Thank you for being a part. There are still two months left before the RAD Students graduate. I currently have $1,600 of my tuition paid for by sponsors like you. I still need to raise $1,400 to pay off my internship. Please prayerfully consider supporting me and this ministry that has so powerfully impacted my life and the lives of others. Thank you!

Time Flies!

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor.

He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners.

Isaiah 61:1

Another year has slipped through my grasps long before I felt it was time. But it did not leave before first instilling a permanent impression. The impression left upon my life could be from any of a number of things I have experienced this year. God only knows which.

Maybe it was RAD. RAD Ministries touched my life all through the year as I attended their nine-month discipleship training program. January ’07 began course two of RAD in which I traveled with my team all along the East Coast of the U.S. stopping in places such as Philadelphia, New York City, and Washington D.C. to serve in ministries, outreaches, and through prayer. Later in RAD, I set out on my internship as a counselor both in traditional practice and through experiential learning. Working with kids in various schools gave me a better understanding of the world around me here in the United States and taught me more about God’s amazing love for his people. By June ’07 I had graduated RAD expecting that that was the end of my crazy adventure in Georgia.

Maybe it was the friends that imprinted their lives upon my heart. Old friends, new friends, friends far away, friends close at heart, and family—the closest friends of all. All were apart of my summer as I traveled around the U.S. and Honduras visiting with friends and family. I spent my first two days after the RAD graduation traveling back home to Indiana with my family, grandparents, and “second family” the McCulloughs. But we didn’t stop there (not with a new car to drive!). Family trips to “The Creation Museum”, McCormick’s Creek State Park, and Chicago filled the next six weeks before it was time to go to our “other” home in Honduras. I spent just over six weeks in Honduras enjoying the beach, sun, and stars, along with the company of good friends and fellow missionaries. Between watching movies, planning outings and activities, and swimming, I found some time so sit at home and watch a curious little monkey jump and play at the side window. What a way to spend a summer!

After God’s last minute decision for me to return to RAD as an intern and postpone college for a year, I found myself driving from Indiana back to Georgia with my little Sable loaded down with the household necessities. I made the 11 hour trip in two days, staying overnight with friends in Kentucky. I arrived on a Saturday and by Monday, life was in full swing. I took a one week facilitation workshop with an outdoor therapy program called Niyélo. Two days after the workshop finished, the new class of RAD Students had arrived in town. The team spent the first few weeks hiking nearly 60 miles of the Appalachian Trail. I however, only hiked about 20 miles before changing hats to be the caretaker for three of the director’s four kids for a week (soccer mom and all!). I’m sure my life must have been impacted in that week as it was my first time “playing mom” for such a long period of time. I really learned a lot.

Mid October certainly must have left a deep impression on me. Within a matter of weeks, my new life seemed to be taking shape. I had started my new job as a maid and babysitter for several different families and also received word on a small guest house my roommates and I could rent. Soon after, I hydroplaned around a curve and totaled my car, my computer crashed, and I began to wonder if Georgia was really where God wanted me to be. His still quite voiced seemed to be in control of the storm even when my life seemed to be spiraling out of control. But to be sure, all storms pass and if God is present, I have no need to fear. With God at my side, I can continue living this life He has given me.

The past month has been a very much needed rest from the routines of life. I flew to Florida on December 3^rd to meet up with my parents and grandparents for an early Christmas. Of course, we couldn’t go to Florida and not see the sites. We spent one week touring around Sea World and the Disney parks with my grandparents who, of course, love Disney as much as us grandkids! What a wonderful Christmas! After our week was up, we said our goodbyes and I flew with my family back home to Honduras to celebrate Christmas on the beach. I have to admit that it doesn’t quite feel like Christmas when it is 80 degrees outside, but what we lack in snow, we make up in holiday cheer. Needless to say, I have had a wonderful time with family and friends this holiday season and am almost sad to see the time go.

So what could it have been? What about this past year has left such a noticeable mark on me? Experiences? People? Places? Maybe it’s all of the above. Maybe God uses each little event in our lives and each person we come in contact with to shape us in new ways so that we can better reflect His glory. What will this year hold for me? I would love to say “A happy-go-lucky life in Georgia before I start college in the fall,” but the truth is I don’t really know what God has in store for me. My goal though is to let every event shape and mold me into HIS image and less of my fleshly image. I pray the same for each of you. Thank you all for your prayers and support now and in the past year.