It just fits....

RELIENT K LYRICS

"Be My Escape"

I’ve given up on giving up slowly, I’m blending in so
You won’t even know me apart from this whole world that shares my fate
This one last bullet you mention is my one last shot at redemption
because I know to live you must give your life away
And I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I’ve been locked inside that house all the while You hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because
I gotta get outta here
I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I gotta get outta here
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging You to be my escape.

I’m giving up on doing this alone now
Cause I’ve failed and I’m ready to be shown how
He’s told me the way and I’m trying to get there
And this life sentence that I’m serving
I admit that I’m every bit deserving
But the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair

Cause I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I’ve been locked inside that house all the while You hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because
I gotta get outta here
Cause I’m afraid that this complacency is something I can’t shake
I gotta get outta here
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging You to be my escape.

I am a hostage to my own humanity
Self detained and forced to live in this mess I’ve made
And all I’m asking is for You to do what You can with me
But I can’t ask You to give what You already gave

Cause I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I’ve been locked inside that house all the while you hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because
I’ve gotta get outta here
I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I’ve gotta get outta here
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging
You to be my escape.

I fought You for so long
I should have let You in
Oh how we regret those things we do
And all I was trying to do was save my own skin
But so were You

So were You

Magic Carpet Ride

“Our only goal is to please God whether we live here or there” ~ 2 Corinthians 5:9

When I left for RAD last year, one of the missionary families in Honduras wrote me a song as a going-away present. It was to the tune of Aladdin’s “A Whole New World.” Each time I return to Honduras, the family asks me about my “magic carpet ride” and about all the adventures the Lord is taking me on. There is no better way to describe my life than a “magic carpet ride.” Filled to the brim with new faces, places and life lessons; my life is anything but ordinary.

After spending Christmas and New Years with my family in Honduras, I returned to Georgia refreshed and ready for whatever the Lord had in store for me. Though a rough start at RAD, the Lord has graciously taught me the value of true joy and also of true, genuine love for HIS people. As always, it feels as though I am an eternity away from completing these lessons, but I continue to strive towards the Father’s heart even if I must stumble my way to the cross broken, bruised and torn.

Life seemed to putter its way into a “normal” rhythm of office work, cleaning houses, babysitting and student time. Soon the weeks were chugging away with only lists of things not completed were left at the end of the night. I found myself in survival mode just trying to make it through the work, through the chores, through the week to get to what I thought was more exciting or entertaining. One day while I was chugging my way from one job to the next, I heard a song on the radio. The chorus goes like this:

You’re gonna miss this.

You’re gonna want this back.

You’re gonna wish these days

Hadn’t gone by so fast.

These are some good times,

So take a look around.

You may not know it now

But you’re gonna miss this.

“You’re Gonna Miss this” by Trace Adkins

That song really made me think “Am I seizing the day or am I living for tomorrow?” My mind tends to wander in the direction of “I could be doing this” or “If I could just skip all of this nonsense and make it to that point…” God has placed me where I am in this moment for a reason. Will I spend my time wishing he hadn’t placed me here or glorifying HIS name and fulfilling HIS purpose in it? That realization was hard for me, but it changed the way I looked at my life. Weeks had gone by in a blink of an eye and I had nothing to show for it. I choose not to live my life like that.

Since then, I feel as though I have been able to see each day as a gift. I can slow down and enjoy the little things in life even if it doesn’t seem to be a glorious new adventure. I can enjoy my jobs as a house cleaner and babysitter. I can do my work in the RAD office and know that God has placed me here with a purpose. *sigh* I love my life.

In mid February, my magic carpet took me to Atlanta with the RAD Students. It was the tail end of the RAD road trip and the students were very excited about all that had already happened. They had traveled to Ashville, NC, Hendersonville, NC, and also to Townsend, TN following the Lord’s voice and serving through youth ministry, church services, prayer walks, helping people move, and working at a children’s home. In inner city Atlanta, The team and I witnessed the Lord’s mercy and love as we stepped into a world unknown to us; the world of poverty. We spent a week serving meals, throwing children’s parties, speaking in church services, and so much more. I thank God for the love he extends unconditionally to EACH INDIVUDUAL no matter who they are, where they are from or what they have done.

Thank you all for your prayers and support. With out you, this “magic carpet ride” could never have happened. I am learning and growing so much this year as I am saturated with new adventures, life lessons, and relationships. Thank you for being a part. There are still two months left before the RAD Students graduate. I currently have $1,600 of my tuition paid for by sponsors like you. I still need to raise $1,400 to pay off my internship. Please prayerfully consider supporting me and this ministry that has so powerfully impacted my life and the lives of others. Thank you!

Time Flies!

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor.

He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners.

Isaiah 61:1

Another year has slipped through my grasps long before I felt it was time. But it did not leave before first instilling a permanent impression. The impression left upon my life could be from any of a number of things I have experienced this year. God only knows which.

Maybe it was RAD. RAD Ministries touched my life all through the year as I attended their nine-month discipleship training program. January ’07 began course two of RAD in which I traveled with my team all along the East Coast of the U.S. stopping in places such as Philadelphia, New York City, and Washington D.C. to serve in ministries, outreaches, and through prayer. Later in RAD, I set out on my internship as a counselor both in traditional practice and through experiential learning. Working with kids in various schools gave me a better understanding of the world around me here in the United States and taught me more about God’s amazing love for his people. By June ’07 I had graduated RAD expecting that that was the end of my crazy adventure in Georgia.

Maybe it was the friends that imprinted their lives upon my heart. Old friends, new friends, friends far away, friends close at heart, and family—the closest friends of all. All were apart of my summer as I traveled around the U.S. and Honduras visiting with friends and family. I spent my first two days after the RAD graduation traveling back home to Indiana with my family, grandparents, and “second family” the McCulloughs. But we didn’t stop there (not with a new car to drive!). Family trips to “The Creation Museum”, McCormick’s Creek State Park, and Chicago filled the next six weeks before it was time to go to our “other” home in Honduras. I spent just over six weeks in Honduras enjoying the beach, sun, and stars, along with the company of good friends and fellow missionaries. Between watching movies, planning outings and activities, and swimming, I found some time so sit at home and watch a curious little monkey jump and play at the side window. What a way to spend a summer!

After God’s last minute decision for me to return to RAD as an intern and postpone college for a year, I found myself driving from Indiana back to Georgia with my little Sable loaded down with the household necessities. I made the 11 hour trip in two days, staying overnight with friends in Kentucky. I arrived on a Saturday and by Monday, life was in full swing. I took a one week facilitation workshop with an outdoor therapy program called Niyélo. Two days after the workshop finished, the new class of RAD Students had arrived in town. The team spent the first few weeks hiking nearly 60 miles of the Appalachian Trail. I however, only hiked about 20 miles before changing hats to be the caretaker for three of the director’s four kids for a week (soccer mom and all!). I’m sure my life must have been impacted in that week as it was my first time “playing mom” for such a long period of time. I really learned a lot.

Mid October certainly must have left a deep impression on me. Within a matter of weeks, my new life seemed to be taking shape. I had started my new job as a maid and babysitter for several different families and also received word on a small guest house my roommates and I could rent. Soon after, I hydroplaned around a curve and totaled my car, my computer crashed, and I began to wonder if Georgia was really where God wanted me to be. His still quite voiced seemed to be in control of the storm even when my life seemed to be spiraling out of control. But to be sure, all storms pass and if God is present, I have no need to fear. With God at my side, I can continue living this life He has given me.

The past month has been a very much needed rest from the routines of life. I flew to Florida on December 3^rd to meet up with my parents and grandparents for an early Christmas. Of course, we couldn’t go to Florida and not see the sites. We spent one week touring around Sea World and the Disney parks with my grandparents who, of course, love Disney as much as us grandkids! What a wonderful Christmas! After our week was up, we said our goodbyes and I flew with my family back home to Honduras to celebrate Christmas on the beach. I have to admit that it doesn’t quite feel like Christmas when it is 80 degrees outside, but what we lack in snow, we make up in holiday cheer. Needless to say, I have had a wonderful time with family and friends this holiday season and am almost sad to see the time go.

So what could it have been? What about this past year has left such a noticeable mark on me? Experiences? People? Places? Maybe it’s all of the above. Maybe God uses each little event in our lives and each person we come in contact with to shape us in new ways so that we can better reflect His glory. What will this year hold for me? I would love to say “A happy-go-lucky life in Georgia before I start college in the fall,” but the truth is I don’t really know what God has in store for me. My goal though is to let every event shape and mold me into HIS image and less of my fleshly image. I pray the same for each of you. Thank you all for your prayers and support now and in the past year.